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I wonder what role your husband provided, besides the obvious — what did he facilitate? Did she, or you, ever get bereavement counselling? I now enjoy my retirement and have activities that keep me busy. I wondered about when she was born, what happened, who supported you, what sort of mother you were, versus the sort of mother you wanted to be; how you yourself were mothered … a lot of questions, but so relevant. Instead, some might start to project all that on to their children. I feel constant frustration and powerlessness regarding my relationship with my daughter, whom I have loved dearly since the day she was born when she was pretty like a doll and looked at me in a very direct and critical way already.

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