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Which brings us to the extremely obvious but rarely contemplated fact — that humans have, at least for the last century, defined themselves based on the kind of sex they have. Erotic desire, then, is more a desire for love than for intercourse. But when we move from those things to contemporary culinary culture — burgers topped with gold shavings, Instagram food accounts, the cooking network, happy hours with colleagues, after church potluck dinners — it becomes harder and harder to nail down the exact purpose of our relationship to food. It is not love that aims at sex as its goal… It is sex that aims at love. But what will we think about sex if it has almost nothing to do with procreation? The pill was revolutionary on this front, giving some people plenty to fear. The difference between us and many non-human animals is that we regularly take pleasure in doing useless things. If these kinds of sexual experiences really do become the norm — as some suggest — it will have been gay people who opened that door. And in that world — a world where babies are made in labs; where pregnancy-via-sexual intercourse is elected only by a minority of women; where sexual ethics have nothing to do with procreative possibilities — what will sex mean?

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