To cite just one example, a boy from Steubenville, Ohio, was captured on video joking about the repeated violation of an unconscious girl at a party by a couple of high-school football players. When I asked my subjects, as I always did, what they liked about being a boy, most of them drew a blank. The MeToo movement has created an opportunity, a mandate not only to discuss sexual violence but to engage young men in authentic, long-overdue conversations about gender and intimacy. When asked what traits society values most in boys, only 2 percent of male respondents in the PerryUndem survey said honesty and morality, and only 8 percent said leadership skills—traits that are, of course, admirable in anyone but have traditionally been considered masculine. Although any hookup is marginally better than none, Nate said, you only truly earn points for getting sexual with the right kind of girl. Real change will require a sustained, collective effort on the part of fathers, mothers, teachers, coaches.
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